Sunday, December 26, 2010

What the Hell!


Is it wrong to wish that Michael would just stay in his bedroom and never come out? It is so sad that anytime he leaves his room all Hell breaks out! The joy of listening to the same old crap come out of his mouth. You never know what the hell is going on in his head. Right now he is out in the hall screaming at Tim saying the same thing over and over again that doesn't make any sense. Not only is he giving me a headache he had the dog all up set. I can't even enjoy a day at home anymore with out him having a fit! Oh now he is complaining that his head hurts No kidding My head would hurt to if I acted like a raving lunatic, So as the year comes to a end My life continues to suck! On the bright side I am going in Wed and getting my Roots touched up and having my eyebrows shaped for the 1st time. I also rejoined Curves I really need to focus on my health in the year 2011 I am getting tired of feeling this way and I am the only one that can fix this mess that I caused myself. As we come upon the new year I want to make a point to think more about me that I have and get myself "put" together I'll be 50 in June and I really want to take the time to "improve" me! Happy New year Good buy 2010 I'm glad it's over soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, December 20, 2010

Living with a child with Autism

There are day's that I wish I could turn back the sands of time, Being the Mother of a Autistic child is not anything I would wish upon my worst enemy. Ever day is different we have good day's but mostly Bad day's I have tried so many different ways to help him cope with his meltdowns but nothing ever works.He gets so upset over the silliest things the repeating of the same words over and over gets on my last nerve. Holes in doors mirrors broken windows broken on and on and on..... I have tried medicine that didn't work I've tried social pages for him to see, they work a little but he always goes back to the screaming and hitting. Not only does the behavior affect him it affects the whole family the stress level in this house is beyond anything I can describe. It's a living Hell at times..... I now understand why a lot of marriages break up with a autistic child it is taking it's toll out on us. Tim of course is in Layla land when it comes to dealing with the situation , I am so sick and tired of living like this day in and day out! Where to turn too is the huge question!!!!!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Holiday's


Well Another year has almost gone and the Christmas season is upon us. Where did the year go? I always think that I will be ready but I never am, Why is that? I have notice that the older I get the faster time goes, There is still so many things that I would like to see and do. A lot of the reason always falls back on never enough time or Money . I have not been taking care of myself like I should and the last Doctor visit was not good. Blood sugar high and now I find out that I am anemic too . So more test to make sure that I don't have blood in my GI , All I can say is This getting older really stinks and I find it harder and harder to do and keep up with what I use to do. I am having a real hard time getting into the Christmas spirit . I am sure that working Retail all these years has a lot to do with it! In the past "people" seem to have that sparkle and were pleasant to be around but I have noticed that this year people are very short tempered and act like the world is coming to a end , with a bad attitude. The economy has a lot to do with it I am sure. Well Not much more to add so I think I will stop for now.....Later

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Some times I wonder!


Some times I wonder where did I go wrong? Life is not always what you think it will be and so I sit here and Think what do I need to do to make some improvements and changes that will be for the better. I get all this advise from people trying to help me make a right choice but it just seems not quite what I feel right about. I know this is a strange entry but I just had to think out loud and hope for a great thought to pop into my head! Maybe I will be able to write more at a later time!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Update on Michaels Autism!!!


Well I Took Michael to the Child Shrink yesterday He just sat there and wouldn't talk to the Doctor, The Doctor took him off the medicine that cause him to gain 25 pounds in less than 2 months, trust me the boy is huge! and put him on 2 other kinds of medicine to help control the moods and outburst and weight gain....I sure hope that we can get him regulated so he can return to school.I take him back in a month let's keep our fingers crossed :) He is really being a good boy today and not wanting to just sit around and eat everything in site. Bless his heart the clothes I had him wear yesterday were really tight I am hoping that this new medicine will help and we can get the weight down along with everything else . Thank goodness for the State Insurance program the medicines that he is taking would have cost me $700.00 a month there would be no way in Hell that I could have done that. Thank goodness I only have to pay $ 25.00 a month, I never thought that I would have to medicate him, With him and me both on Medicine I thank everyday that I have Insurance and he is covered through the state because of his Autism....
I really feel for the people out there that can not get the help that they need. I searched and searched for years and I was able to contact the state and let them know that Michael could not get insurance that was why he qualified Tim and I make too much otherwise but with him having Autism that is what is saving us money wise!!!!! AS soon as he turns 18 he goes on SSI and Medicaid so at least I know that he will be taken care of....hopefully our government wouldn't screw that up for everyone!!!! The Picture was of him before all the weight gain!!!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Why do I put up with it!!!


I can not believe how much Rain we got yesterday It flooded in Gaines ville and around Lake Kiowa So I had to drive home the long way and it still was a challenge , And Of course leaks in the ceiling are always so much fun! Yesterday at work I worked just a half day so I could take Holiday pay since I rarely do. I really needed to be at work there is so much that need's to be done. Thank goodness Carol is back from Vacation but next week Barbara is going to take a week off! These are my lead and Asst. mgr. So I really rely on them. I also found out that I will be stuck with a young man that will need a work coach with him everyday. the company I work for has a program that they will get extra money from the Government, if they hire these individuals that can't work anywhere else. So I get to "babysit" and they get the money!!!! I am going to have to stay on my P's and Q's , What I mean is : I feel like they are going to really be watching to make sure that things are being done correctly , I have enough to worry about with the other 6 employees that I have now I have to work out a program for this young man that will need help with his job! I don't get payed enough for this. I can't believe I have worked for them 6 years now.Where have years gone? Jobs are so hard to come by these day's! I have people coming in everyday looking for a job.People that I am afraid I would never hire, 1st of all when ever you go to place looking for work come in Clean and well dressed never come in greasy dirty shorts and flip-flops and look like you never have taken a shower in your life. Oh and please brush your teeth, Appearance is so important take pride in yourself just because one is poor doesn't mean that you can not clean up!!!! I really like the ones that act like all they have to do is tell me that they ned a job and when can they start! Oh and then tell me that there are certain day's and times that they will or won't work!!!! Oh really!!!! Not in my lifetime!! I have even had them call the store and tell me that they want a job but they can only work certain times. 1st of all if you are to @#$% lazy to walk in and talk to me then you will never work for me! Where do these idiots come from and why do they think that they can tell me what they will or won't do??? I can not get over the gull of some-people....

Monday, August 30, 2010

It's a Good Day!


We got a call from Michael' s Doctor today and they got the results back on his MRI No problems and his blood work was great too! Look's like Autism is the major factor Thank goodness he is healthy . The thought of him become Diabetic really scared me , In 3 weeks I take him to see another Doctor a child Physiologic, This Dr, Specializes in Autism and the kind of Medicines that help them . He has been really good today and very Happy! He has been in a hugging mood , So much better than a Crazy Mood!! :) Well Iam getting ready to make him 2 hot-dogs that's what he requested for his dinner.....

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Just 1 day that's all I ask Just 1 day!!!!!


You know I would just love to be able to write a positive report one of these day's, We woke up to Michael throwing a major bovine at 7 am.....
Sunday morning is the only day that I really get to sleep in 1 extra hour and I was having such a wonderful dream till all hell broke loose. Tim got up to check on him , I stayed in bed because I really didn't feel like being hit this morning. Well it finally happen!!! Michael busted the glass pane out of the door leading out to the garage.Thank Goodness he didn't get cut the curtain is what saved him. Tim put up a piece of cardboard so that we weren't cooling down the garage too. It was just a matter of time The child is destroying my home! When we replace the pane it will be Plexiglas not real glass Heaven help us if he cut's himself, I told Tim that we better go ahead and change out the door going out to the backyard too! How much should a family take before someone looses it and goes postal ?????????????? Prayers I need Prayers I need heavens gates to open up and send down help!

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Greatest Mom in the World


You know I never really realized just how wonderful my mother is. She's is so "with-it"
It is hard to believe that she is 70 years old, When my Grandmother was that age I thought she seemed so old but my mother must have found the fountain of youth, Even though she has some health problems she can still do a lot things that amaze me.
Gee I guess one would say she is my best friend and The older I get the more I feel bless to have her as my Mom! No other lady can stand on the same pedestal than her.
I LOVE YOU MOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There back!!!!

OMG Michael and his Meltdowns
I have such a headache from all the screaming and yelling, HE broke another mirror thank goodness he didn't cut himself, I just had to wash the glass slivers off his hands . I ended up giving him 2 doses of his medicine today . WE really wish we could figure out what is setting him off all the time. He will go day's being so good that I almost forget that he's even in the house but when he has his blow up's EVERYONE knows he's around No one and I mean NO one should have to deal with this !!!!!!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

The Big Day!

Well it started out just like I thought it would He woke up around 9:30 am which means NO FOOD
Well that wasn't too bad he just wanted to go back and lay down. Around 11:30 I had to try and get him really to go Well that was a challenge but I finally got him dressed, He started crying about the time we had to go I was able to calm him down and get him in the van. The drive over he just sat there looking around smiling acting very well behaved. Tim went with us I am glad he did because the boy is too big for me to handle by myself. After we checked in they had to take down all the info and the Dr. came in and told me that he was going to give him a shot to relax him for the IV and the blood work. SO they brought in backup guys to hold him if needed. But the Dr had me stand in front of Michael and had Michael give me a big hug while he got the shot. All Michael did was look at the Dr and said OW! WE walked him ove to the gurney that was in the room and I sat down next to him so that as soon as the drug kicked in we could lay him over on the gurney. Within 3-4 seconds it hit him. They laid him back and he looked like he was on a major high. they started doing the IV and he stop breathing I was watching to make sure they noticed They did They put his head up a little and put him on oxygen . I went back out with Tim and we went down stairs and had lunch. 1 hour later they came and got both of us to go back into the room till he woke up. it took him a very long time , As soon as he started waking up they wheeled him out to the van and it took all three of us to get him in the van. He is so out of it!! WE got all the way home only 1/2 block from the front door and he threw up all over the front of himself. he started choking so I had to hold his head up[ and he threw up again. Thanks goodness he only had a little coke on his stomach Chris Helped me get him into his bedroom and now he is resting . Man what a long day....... Tim just stands there watching me clean him up worrying about getting the leaves that blew into the garage which really pissed me off but I should have known It would come down to that.. I will drop off the disk at Dr. Coble's office after my dental appointment in the morning!

Monday, August 23, 2010

1 Day Till Michael's MRI

Well I have not figured out how to let Michael know about tomorrow! If I tell him too early he starts freaking out anytime he need's to do something away from the house. So I am wondering what the best way to let him know about what is going to happen . I'll just sleep on it and hopefully I'll come up with something! Wish me Luck!! :)

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Just 2 day's till Michael's MRI

This Picture was taken of Michael in 2008 school Year he was going into the 9th grade/life skills



How do you tell a 16 year old Autistic Boy that in 2 day's he will be going to the hosp. to have a picture taken of his brain and that he can't eat any food after 9:30 am because they are going to put him out in order to do the test...... Huh?????
I am not looking forward to this Tim will be going with us. I told Tim that I wasn't going to try and do this all by myself, there is no way in @#$% I would be able to get him there and deal with everything all alone. I just hope that everything goes well, I really don't think I could take anymore problems with him. Everyday he seems to act different this morning he was in a really good mood and the sad thing is all I could do is "wait" for a meltdown and not really enjoy when he has a good day.All I can do is just wait and see how it all goes Tuesday. I'll update after the test......

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Update On Michael !

Well I took Michael to the Doctor Again Yesterday for a follow up and his blood pressure was back down and he didn't gain anymore weight the last visit he gain 18 pounds in 1 month from the medicine that he is taking for his melt downs. This coming Tuesday I have to take him over to Children s Medical Center in Plano for an MRI. They are going to have to put him out to do the test so that means I get to fight him after 9am that he can not eat anything till after the test and the test is not till 3 pm. he is going to throw a major fit. since he will be put under they are going to go ahead and do the blood work that his Dr wants because he will not let them take blood. The Doctor wants to make sure that he doesn't have diabetes or low iron, If he becomes diabetic I will loose my mind he will not eat the way he need's too, Tim and Chris will have to get over it If we have to put him in a home or school that he can be watched and care for 24/7 I will not be able to since I have to work! I will report what we find out after the MRI is done. Then in Sept I am taking him to a Child Psychiatrist To see if they will be able to help us with the mood swings and the violent outbreaks that he has.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Pity-Party for myself


Ever had one of those day's where you just get fed up with all the bull @#$% that you have to deal with? Well today is one of those day's. I am having to deal with Michael and the Meltdowns again and the fact that the medicine isn't really working on him I really wonder if we will ever find the "miracle drug" ? I really want to re-do some things around here but I can't ever seem to find the strength or the time to do it! Today after dealing with Michael all I wanted to do was sleep. The boy is wearing me out !!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Hot Texas Weather


I'll say it again I hate the HEAT!!!!
It was over 106 today in the shade, I sure miss that nice cool Montana weather that I was blessed with just 2 weeks ago It seems like a Lifetime since I was up there. I really feel the need to live closer to my parents and brothers and their families....
The Economy really sucks right now and I have a feeling that it is not going to get any better too soon!!!!
Tomorrow after I get home from work I will be taking Michael back to see the Doctor. The med's are not working and he is eating me out of house and home I am so afraid that he has gain way too weight and the meltdowns are still around and a lot worst than before, I am not leaving till we get this fixed I can't take anymore of his meltdowns!!!!!!!

Saturday, July 10, 2010

2 more Days!!!


Woo Woo Montana here I come I am so ready for this Vacation. I am so happy to finally meet some of my nieces and nephews that I have never got to be around. Now I just hope that Tim and Chris don't kill each other and that they make sure that Michael get's his medicine everyday. I really don't want to have to worry about it but I can't help it. And poor Yogi Will they feed him or just think that he will wait till I return in 2 weeks Ha Ha Ha

Cooler weather YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I sure hope that my plane don't do this!!!! :)

Monday, July 5, 2010

Michael Update!

Well I am happy to report that the medicine is working with Michael.... He is so much calmer and no out breaks or meltdowns for 5 day's It has been so Nice~ I take off to Montana next week so I wanted to make sure that I didn't leave him here with Tim and Chris to drive them crazy! Now I have made a chart so that Tim and Chris will make sure that he get's his medicine while I am gone. I will be flying out next Monday!!!! I can't wait!!!!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Michael's Visit to the Doctor office!


Well I was finally able to get Michael into a specialist, We had a great visit and Michael was very cooperative with the Dr. There are a few things that the Docter want's to do to make sure that there are no other "problems" !st we are going to put him on Resperidal for his behavior, Blood work in a month to make sure he isn't diabetic or endemic . The Doctor and I are hoping that he will allow them to do the blood work. And then he want's to do a MRI to make sure that there are no hidden problems . He also wants me to contact a shrink to get him the help he need's , He gave me a Dr. that he sends all of his other kids too that need help! I just hope that this will help Michael.. I'll write more as soon as I find out anything!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

A day after


Well I lived through another Birthday.... You would think after 49 years I would realize that the older I get the younger I feel. I don't mean physically but mentally I feel young still. I wish I didn't have all the aches and pains but who doesn't?
Returned to work today after taking 4 day's off.........Oh my gosh! The store need's a over haul. It looks so bad in some of the departments, I went in early today but there is so much that need's to be cleaned that I just couldn't get into it! My gosh what will it look like after I am gone for nearly 2 weeks?? Even with a list they just don't seem to get everything done like I want it! The ol saying " if you want it done right just do it yourself" Well that's not going to happen I am going to crack the whip this week.... The only thing is I will be off 3 day's this week too! I really need to get them to help clean all the store, I will go crazy if When I return from Vacation if it look's like it does now! Well I feel better now that I got that off my chest!!!

Thursday, June 24, 2010

2 days till my 49th Birthday


Wow It is hard to believe that I will be 49 Sat. I still feel like a 21 year old...not!!!!
It really is the pits having to get older, all the bones and joints in your body scream every time you get up from a chair or the sofa, Knee's crack, Back stiff,feet hurt....on and on and on ! :)
Life sure passes you by too fast!
Well I am going to try and not think about it, I will just keep moving and hope that this "ol bod will keep on ticking!! I like the saying your as old as you feel! Gee does that mean I'm pushing 90!!!! HA HA HA no I guess over all I look and feel pretty Damn good for someone my age! Happy Birthday to me On Sat. June 26

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Sorry!!!!


Well I have not been very good about keeping up with this Blog...I am going to work hard on it!
A lot of things have kept me busy and so I haven't been as good as I could be about writing on here.
We had to have some major work on the KIA and thank goodness it was still under warranty We still had to put out almost $300.
The Front Brakes needed to be replaced and we had the Transmission flushed out I still need to have the Emergency Brake fixed but that can wait till later. I haven't used it for so long that I forget that it's even there. I also have a Doctor appointment for Mr Michael on July 1,2010 he is getting worst I really don't think that I can take any more of his melt downs. On the Good side I am flying up to Montana to spend time with my Family on July 12 My parents sent me a plane ticket so I can get away for some peace and quite. Plus I really need a Vacation from work too!! I get to go all by myself!!:) Well I am getting ready to go to bed I am really getting tired. Later World!!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Life!


Well I have not been very good about posting on here like I want too! Could it be because Life get's in the way? Well Things have been a lot better around here lately I hope that it continues Michael hasn't really had a major melt down for a while This week I am going to contact a Doctor in Sherman that work with kids like him and see what we can do to help him with these meltdowns pray that what ever we do help's this child...More update after I take him and find out what can be done to help him...

Watch Clash of the Titans 2010 TS flv online | MovShare - Reliable video hosting

Watch Clash of the Titans 2010 TS flv online | MovShare - Reliable video hosting

Monday, May 10, 2010

Bad Weather


Oh the joy of living in Texas we are under a tornado Warning, It has been really windy all day ...Spring time in Texas can be a real pain ......
I need to get some sleep hope the house doesn't blow away when I'm a sleep

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day!



Well another year as a Mother where have the years gone? It's hard to believe that my boys are 21 and 16 already. Even though they are getting older they still need their mom and that makes me feel LOVED!!!!

Osmonds 'Through the years' Pioneer Day July08

Thursday, May 6, 2010

????


Well I have no ideal what I want to write about there are so many things that are going through my mind. I feel like I am always running backwards never getting anywhere. I have no motivation to do what I need to do to help with my health, I feel so run down and tired all the time. The stress level at home is more than I would want anyone to deal with. I took the last few day's off from work thinking that I would at least get to relax some , well that isn't happening. Well I just had to get this off my chest Like it will do any good!!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

I love a clear day!


Wow it was so pretty outside today! And all of my customers were in a good mood.....scary! :) we had a great day . This week I am going to take 4 day's away from the store and relax. Tuesday I am going for the very 1st time to have my nails done. Last Week I had my hair colored with high lights I love it. I am going to treat myself to it. Believe it or not I am trying to be more girl y. Yes I know how scary.But I need to do this to feel better about myself. I am still having a hard time getting the weight off that I need to to help control the Blood Presure and the Diabetes , But it will happen I refuse to give up. Hope the rest of the week is as pretty as today was :)

Friday, April 23, 2010

Tim and his plumbing task!!


Okay I just have to write and twll you all about the little mess that we have going on her at the Urban Ranch! Tim got in the mood to replace fixtures that are as old as the house and to install shut off valves . Well the kitchen went smooth as can be so he thought well I guess I will do the one in the main bathroom! Well guess what he Can't get the old valves off they are froze on there and he has already replaced the fixture and WE HAVE NO WATER in the house as I speak! Oh wait a min he is calling a plumber!!! OMG On a Friday night!! Please Lord give me Patience with this Man!!!!!

Monday, April 12, 2010

SPRING!!!


I love this time of the year why can't it be like this all year?

Sunday, April 4, 2010

My Sweet Granny!


I really miss my Granny.............I guess with Easter being today I have been thinking a lot about her and how I still wish I had more time with her in this life.
I remember growing up and spending Easter with her and Papa going to church as a Family and going to her house for some good home cooking!!! No one can cook green beans like my granny. I love you Granny and miss you!

A Day in the Urban Household!!

Here it is Easter Sunday and nothing wonderful going on.... General Conference on the T.V. but I really can't get in the mood to deal with it today, Tim finally got Michael in the tub and shaved today well that started a all out war, Because Tim tells Michael that he will be going back to school tomorrow well as you can imagine all Hell broke loose, I made the mistake of walking into my bedroom in front of Michael as he is screaming and punching he throws a left hook and punches me in the right arm. I am so sick and tired of being that kids punching bag!! Tim is so clueless I told Tim that I am about to get a motel room till things chance around here. Tim informs me that I was not going anywhere and that I need to "deal " with it!!! Well He's got another thing coming ! I am about to start calling around and see what the rates are for a week Now I just have to come up with the money to do this !! UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I am going to go to my store and get some work done while these fools all do what it is they do!

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Jeanne Time!


Well I have finally decided to start looking and acting more "girl y" I know about time! No really I have put off for years taking care of me and now It's my turn.. Went and got a new hair cut today and in a few weeks going to go get high lights and have my nails done. I worked out today I feel so good after wards I really need to do this more than I do. The Weight is slowly coming off and I am going to get healthy. My goal is to get into shape by the end of this year and KEEP it off!!!! And by Golly I am going to do it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Happy Birthday Michael

Well my youngest son is 16 today hard to believe that he is already that old since he acts like he's still 5 it really makes it hard to believe.... Autism really sucks!!!!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Birthday Month And wishing I could start all over again!


Not only are both of my son's birthday this month so are 4 of my 6 brothers....
Michael will be 16 this wed. Where have the years gone? I asked him today if he wanted to learn how to drive a car...he freaked out , That's when Chris butted in and said that if Michael drives before him that the world will come to a end....For those of you who have forgotten or don't know Michael is Autistic and will never drive a car.....
My heart aches so much for him and all the things that he will never get to do as a teenage boy , Hold a part time job have a girl friend drive or even have any friends to hang out with. All he want's to do is stay in his bedroom, Both of my boys are such hermit's Where did I go wrong?????
Not only do I have him to worry about I worry about my oldest Chris who will be 21 on the 28th of March, He has no life either, HE can't drive or even try he doesn't have a job or will even try to get one all of his High school friends have moved on and gone off to College or got married and have babies already. I feel like all I do is work to just support him and his "lazy" way's Not only have I try'd to help him find a job he will not get motivated and even go out to find one. I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Tired of my life THis is not what I signed up for!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Tooth Ache


Oh the joy of teeth.... About a year or so I had a tooth break and I still haven't been able to have it pulled or fixed, Even with insurance It cost too damn much to go to a Dentist. The joy of Pain medicine, I will have to do something before too long I don't know how much more I can take of this!!!!

Friday, February 26, 2010

I'm such a Slacker!


Well I haven't been very good about keeping up with my blog but I will try and do better. We haven't had anymore snow yet but it has been very cold and Wet..
This has been the strangest weather this year. I got to talk to my mom tonight she called me at work it's been a while since we've spoken to each other, I really enjoy it when we can talk and rem-anise about things I am so blessed to have a mom like her. Not only is she a strong person but she is beautiful as well. I have super parents and feel very blessed to have them. I can only hope to be as good a mom as she was too me to my boys. I love you Mom!!!
{ and you too Dad!! } :) :) :) :)

Thursday, February 11, 2010


Wow Snow In Texas~~~~~~~

Snow In Texas A Record amount!!!


What a nasty mess!!!! IT has snowed all day and Tim and I just came back in from shaking snow off of the Trees so they don't break from the weight. I had to closed the store before I even got to open today and call all employees to not come in. Hopefully we will be able to open tomorrow...
If I do I won't open till 11 am or so when the sun has come out and melted the snow the only thing is when the sun goes down again it will get icy again..... I'll just have to see and play it by ear~~~~~~

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Oh my aching feet!!

Not only do I hurt today all over my right foot has been giving me fits all day! I feel like I have a bone growing out the back of my heal! And by the end of the night I was limping around Walmart after work today! I am afraid that it might be a bone spur and will have to have something done to the foot to correct the problem. If it keeps hurting I will contact my Doctor and see what he says.
I can not afford this! Why am I falling apart?

Sunday, January 24, 2010

FAMILY!


You know there are times when I really find it hard to love everyone how did the savior do it?
I am the oldest of 7 children and all of them are boys under me. Being the only girl growing up in a house full of boys taught me a lot about how they interact with one another, But I also learned that they can be very selfish to one another too! You would think that if another sibbling was in need then if you could help you would, I hate the fact that I don't have a way to help those of my family that need help! And on the other hand I have family that can but won't ......
It just breaks my heart:(

Thursday, January 21, 2010

So Far So Good!

Well Not only am I watching what I eat I am making sure that I eat to keep the Blood Sugar where it need's to stay, I can really tell when I drop I get dizzy and just can't think straight , And then I
eat a hand full of unsalted peanuts, or another light snack and I get this boost of energy, That's when My employees hate it because that's when I want them to work and try to keep up with me!!:)
Well It's late and I did a lot of re-setting in the store today for more clothes so these ol bones are real tired and need to sleep .............

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Going to do it this time!

Alright I know I've said it before but this time I mean it! I am going to get myself in shape I guess the best way to do it is one day at a time. and make sure that I keep track of my blood sugar and blood pressure along with it. I am going to start writing down what goes in my mouth and watch how much I eat. I read somewhere that I need to eat 6 small meals a day to keep my body in check with my blood sugar . That's really hard when I am at work but I am determined to do it. I want to be healthy and stop worrying about my health all the time. The older I get the more I worry no fun! But I will log down how I am doing and make sure that I am held accountable ...:)

Monday, January 18, 2010

Autism and Behaviour~

Challenging Behavior and ‘Tantrums’

Unfortunately for individuals with autism and their families and careers, ‘tantrums’ and destructive behaviors are common, especially among children. The term ‘challenging behavior’ is a controversial one, but it is intended to suggest that behaviors present a challenge to professionals and services. This is supposed to prevent internalizing the cause of the behavior and ‘blaming’ the individual. This is very important in autism, as it is unlikely that any behavior which causes difficulties for families and professionals, is intended maliciously or vindictively. There is virtually always some other, unidentified, trigger that precipitates challenging behavior. Some vital function that it serves. It is worth noting that in most cases (although not all) individuals do not enjoy ‘being challenging’. This alone should suggest that there is some significant need or impetus for the behavior. Unfortunately it would appear that the majority of cases of ‘challenging’ behaviors occur by children in the presence of their families. If such behavior is a challenge for professionals then it can have a debilitating impact on parents and siblings. It is therefore very important that behavior are dealt with in way which allows both the secure functioning of the family, and the opportunity for the individual to develop skills and communicate effectively.

‘Tantrums’ are one of the most common problems in young children with autism. They may appear to go into a state of rage, panic, anxiety or fear for no reason at all. ‘Tantrums’ are normal behavior for most children and there is no reason why children with autism should by-pass this stage of development. The problem seems to be that it is more difficult for parents to prevent ‘tantrums’ in children with autism, the child seems inconsolable during the ‘tantrum’, the episode might last a long time, and the reconciliation that typically accompanies the end of the ‘tantrum’ rarely occurs. ‘Tantrums’ are just one example of challenging behavior. Similar episodes of panic, anxiety, rage or even aggression might be seen all through childhood, adolescence and even adulthood. This might involve screaming, crying, resisting contact with others, or pushing others away. On the other hand it might be much less overt, such as refusing to respond to interaction (especially in learning settings where this might have a destructive effect), using others as objects and refusing to comply with daily activities. Obviously these behaviors are not necessarily ‘challenging’ but in some cases they might cause disruption (for example to a classroom engaged in a lesson, or a family outing or event).

What causes this? As with such behavior in all children there may be any number of causes. There might be underlying reasons (such as feeling upset, anxious or angry) and immediate triggers (such as being told to do something). In autism however there is also a specific pattern of behavior, and of social interaction and understanding, that can help us explain some ‘challenging’ behaviors.

People with autism often rely on ritual and structure55. Structure is a method that helps define the world in terms of rigid rules and explanations and that helps the person function most effectively. Most children with autism find their own methods of imposing structure and maintaining consistency. They need this structure because the world is confusing. Other people are complex and almost impossible to understand. The information they receive through their senses might be overwhelming and hard to bring together into a cohesive whole, and there is likely to be an additional learning disability that makes it hard to apply cognitive skills to all these areas at once. Therefore when some form of structure or routine is disrupted the world becomes confusing and overwhelming again. It might be like losing a comforting toy when feeling alone or homesick. This disruption of structure might be obvious (having a collection of objects disturbed, being made to go a different way to school, getting up at an unusual hour) or it might be hidden (subtle changes in the environment which the child is used to for example). Some of these triggers might be out of the control of the individual or his or her family members. Some might be avoidable. Others might be necessary events, which can be slowly introduced so as to limit overt reactions. It is important to remember that ‘tantrums’ and similar behaviors are not rejections. They are not emotional blackmail or warfare aimed at those close to the individual. They are the natural reactions to various stimuli. Natural if you have autism that is. Disruption of structure is only one trigger of such behavior however.

In more general terms one of the most significant causes of ‘challenging behavior’ is a communicative need. For people with profound difficulties in understanding others and in communicating with them it is hardly surprising for frustration, anger and anxiety to build up. It is also quite likely that ‘challenging behaviors’ will directly serve as a form of communication. Natural ‘tantrums’, for example in response to changes in routine or requests to do something the individual does not want to do, may well be reinforced by the other people involved. For many professionals and parents it might be easier to let the child ‘have their own’ way rather then help them to develop other means of communicating. In this way the child will learn that ‘challenging behavior’ may be the most effective and immediate way of bringing about a desired response from others. It is perhaps inevitable that this will be the case in home environments where parents do not have the time, resources or knowledge to deal with this behavior more constructively. This might also be the case in educational settings where there is a compromise between offering support for the individual with autism and ensuring that any ‘challenging behavior’ is not detrimental to other students. This is where support is needed both in the form of direct interventions related to the behaviors, and in advising and helping parents manage episodes in ways which can be applied at home. It is important to intervene as early as possible so that behaviors are not reinforced and so that other means of expression and communication are open to children with autism. Appropriate ‘behavioral interventions’ take into account the functions of behaviors and do not seek simply to limit the behavior itself.

In summary, it is important to recognize two major dimensions of ‘challenging behavior’. These include recognizing that there are experiences and difficulties specific to individuals with autism that might trigger or cause these behaviors. These include problems with understanding themselves, the world around them (especially their social environment) and their relationship with it. They might have cognitive difficulty in processing and applying meaning to the information they are given. They might need rigid structure in order to function comfortably. They might not understand or require the typical social interactions and comforting of other children (such as being hugged when crying). These difficulties can be improved slowly through education and other interventions, but basic differences must be respected and effort can be made to manage the environment so that the individual is more comfortable (allowing some structure, avoiding distracting information when engaging in tasks, allowing personal space where necessary). The second major area is where ‘challenging behavior’ serves a communicative function. In this case the function of the behavior must first be identified before teaching and developing other means of communicating.

Interventions

‘Interventions’ looks at methods of providing support and intervention for people with autism in order to help them overcome any difficulties they might experience as a result of their autism, and so that they can make the most of the skills and characteristics they do have. This is divided into four areas: Education, Behavioral Interventions, Drug Interventions and Other Interventions. Other Interventions include those which may be seen as behavioral or educational in terms of content, and those which are more controversial but are included for the sake of completeness. Discussion of these interventions is based on the characteristics they improve and the psychological and neurological theory which helps explain them.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

A Day to Relax


Sometimes I think that I feel worst when I stay at home than when I am at work doing something, I was so lazy today I slept and watched T.V. Now I think about what I could have done but I just had no motivation to do anything. Right now I have to listen to Tim and Chris argue over the dumbest things, You know I wish I could just tune out the noise around here. I was thinking about taking another day off tomorrow since I worked 14 hours Monday but I just can't stand the thought of staying at home another day! The tension in this house is really getting to me~

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Thanks

You know Sometimes I forget that I'm not alone in this....Not only do I have computer friends that care my employees are worried about me, I've got to try and make this all work.....:)

Monday, January 11, 2010

I've had it!!!!!!!

Well it all started this morning Michael having a melt down took me 10 minutes just to get his big butt in the bathtub. Then he stood in the bathroom screaming no school to the point that I walked out I got Chris out of his room and told him I've had it. I'm getting a shower and I will be leaving for work ASAP Deal with him!!!
Called Tim he was on his way home from work and Told him that I wouldn't be home when he got home because I wasn't dealing with the meltdowns anymore. Got to work had a great day My District Manager showed up for my yearly review and raise I'm am happy with it! Had to work open to close because my Asst Manager called in sick, Lovely!!!!
So after 13.5 hours at the store today I come home to another Screaming fit, He went to sleep around 6 pm and woke up when I got home screaming no school. OMG Will this Hell ever end????
I am in my bedroom trying to ignore him which isn't that easy since he has the biggest mouth I've ever heard...... Why did I have to be a parent to a child with Autism Did I do something terrible in a previous life??? Just kidding about the previous life I don't believe in that as you all know I'm just saying WHY ME????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

More Cold weather due!

Well I took the day off and didn't manage to do anything productive. When it's cold out I don't like leaving the house unless I have too! Michael had a small meltdown this morning but nothing like yesterday. Thank goodness!!! Right now he is in his bedroom listening to the Alan Parson Project on his boom box. The boy loves his music, What ever it takes to keep him happy~
I still haven't been able to see a dentist for this tooth I broke I really need to try and find one that can get me in ASAP Sometimes When I bite down on something I get a real sharp pain Not fun~~

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Another Major Melt down!


Well This was the morning from hell! Michael did not want to go to school and through a major fit in the front yard when the bus came this morning, It took us 5 minutes to get him on the bus and I found out later that he carried on like that till he got to school and then he ran screaming into his classroom freaking his teacher out . She had never seen him act like that, She called me at work and I told her " Welcome to my world" She and I talked fro about 15 minutes trying to figure out what is going on with him. WE both think it's hormones he just had fits randomly and afterwards he's find. Before I got home tonigh Tim called and informed me that Michael had got a hold of the staple gun and shot himself in the hand with it. HE must have pulled it out because he has 2 mark's and a big bruise on his left hand....Good grief!! I also called MHMR this morning to find out if there are any programs out there that could help families like us , Not only did I get the run around I was transfered 8 times and never got to talk to anyone about it! Before that I called Home office to find out what it would cost to add Michael unto my Health Insurance and was told that I would probably not be able to because he has Autism and if the Insurance let me it could cost as much as $300.00 a week not a month but a Week!!! WHAT THE HELL I couldn't afford that who could???? To say the least I am at my wit's end and really have no clue what I am going to do to get help for this kid!!!!!

More Melt Downs

Well It all started again this morning with Michael having a major meltdown not wanting to go to school, It took Tim and me 5 minutes just to get him on the bus, he was standing out in the front yard when the bus came screaming "no school" I'm sure the neighbour's were just loving that at 7 am. The teacher called me at work as soon as he got to school I guess he ran into the classroom acting the same way he did when he got on the bus. I am at my wit's in with him. I really have no clue what
I am going to do. Called my home office to see about having him added to my insurance and because he has a pre-existing condition We are not sure if he can be insured and if he he can it will cost me over $300.00 a week with this company I can't afford that what the Hell am I suppose to do. I have no money to take him to Doctors to find out what we can do to help him. Then I called MHMR and got the run around from them I bet I was transferred to 8 different people and then when I think I finally have someone that can help he went home sick!!!!UGH!!!
This is going to be the Death of me I swear...............................

Sunday, January 3, 2010

The Return of the mely down monster!

The Picture was taken in Ky in Tomkinsville at Granny's funeral when Michael was being happy!!
Well it was just a matter of time till Michael realized that he returns to school tomorrow you should have seen and heard the melt down!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ugh I would just love it if I could go the rest of my life and not have to hear that scream again my ears are still ringing...
I refuse to let him stress me out so I will just stay in the bedroom and ignore the behavior

Tim and the ceiling fan!


There is nothing funnier than listening to Tim get mad at putting the new ceiling fan up in our bedroom. Look's like the power to the floor is hooked to the wall unit. Of course I tried to tell him that but I'm a woman how would I know that? PLEASE I know a lot of things I'm not dumb you know. OMG Now he has dropped a screw in this "wonderful" shag carpet and he is down on the floor trying to find it! Give it up Tim you'll never find it til we don't need it! Well Church started at 9am and we never made it! I didn't get up from bed till 10:30 this morning I was butt tired from yesterday and trying to get all the paperwork in my office in order for the new year and end of the week too, Wow I will never be bored around here!!! LOL

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Oh the joy of coming home to a major mess!!

Well If I didn't have any drama at home my life would just be boring! Let me explain, Tim has try's to change out the ceiling fan in our bedroom because it stopped working correctly and now we have no power on one side of the bedroom so we are running cords from the dining room into the bedroom so that I have my computer , Talk about Hillbillies !!!!!
Of course Chris is all in a uproar thinking that Tim has no clue what he's doing .... Looks like we might be calling in an Electrician to see what is going on,Oh the joy of home ownership.... At work today we were so busy I can't believe all the people that love to shop in junk stores, I am very please about how I ended the year WE did very well considering how bad the economy is right now.
I am just hoping that Corp doesn't make my Budget so high that we have a hard time making it. Well I am going to go eat dinner later gator

Friday, January 1, 2010

2010

Well Can you believe it 2010 Where have the years gone? I am hoping that we have a better year and that my Son Michael will be able to get the help that he seems to need with his behavior. And That Chris my oldest son get's a job and makes something of him self. And that Tim finds peace with his job and be thankful that he has a job at all. And for my self I want to have a stress free year... LOL Yeah like that is going to happen Hope we all have a safe year and that life get's better for all!!! Happy New Year Everyone