Happy Birthday Michael

Well 17 years ago today I gave birth to my son Michael He was the cutest little rug rat! Blonde hair that stood up no matter what I did to try and make it lie down. He was a really good baby. I remember so many times just looking at him and being amazed what a beautiful child he is. I was so happy to be his mother, Around the age of 1.5 I noticed that my "perfect" baby wasn't so Perfect after all. I noticed that he would sit and rock for hours and would not look at me when I called him. He didn't want to be held and he became a very picky eater. I took him for some test and was informed that my child was Autistic I thought I would die that day! What happen? Where did Igo wrong? I couldn't understand why I would have a child like this.. As the years progressed I became very angry , I get so upset that he will never be able to drive a car hold a job or even get married so I can be a grandma someday! This was not what I had planned for my life. Today he is a 17 year old in a Grown man's body with the mind of a 5 year old. He never want's to go anywhere, he won't get dressed in fear that we are going to leave the house. I wonder why I was allowed to be this child's mother? I really can't help him in the way that he need's help , Right now I can't even get the child to attend school anymore, all he wants to do is sit in his bedroom and watch video's all the time. I really hate the fact that I feel this way, IT is so hard to really love someone that demands so much from you. Don't get me wrong I love him as a mother should ,it's just I can't stand to be around him ,he drains me mentally and physically, I have lost all respect to those people that thought that they were helping this child. Guess what you didn't make a hell of a difference. Sorry that this is such a bummer I can't help being angry!!!