A new year approches

Well as I set here thinking about what to expect for 2010 I wonder if it will get any better...
I am worried that Michael will be so out of control that I have to do something that I never thought I would ever do with my child, When School starts up again I am going to request a ARD . His behavior is so wild at times that I am afraid that he is going to hurt me or himself, I need help and find it hard to ask for it. I should be able to control my own child. But as I get older I just don't have the strength to do it .Those of you that have never dealt with a child like him I hope you feel BLESSED . Don't get me wrong I love this child but I feel saddened that HE and I have to deal with this Hell! I want to do what is best for him and my family but find that money always seems to be a big problem. Never enough !!!!!!!! How could you not love a child like him???

SNOW!!!!!!!

I can't believe it Snow For Christmas
I got my wish!!!!!

Our Christmas Tree 2009
Christmas Eve .........

Noise that's all I hear!!!!

As I sit in here in the back bedroom, I hear nothing but Tim and Chris arguing over the dumbest things, Chris is "always" right so no matter what Tim say's Chris corrects him, Gee I believe that this has been going on for 20 years now!!! It's a wonder that I haven't gone crazy, Well At least I don't think I have, You know what I would like for Christmas? I would like a home of peace and Love and a home that has a spirit of Christmas so thick that you can taste it! I would love for my oldest son to not be so negative about God and religion..
Is that asking for too much??

Pre Christmas Eve

Well Michael is a Happy Boy It's only a few day's till Christmas, What will his next dilemma be?
He get's so fixated on something that he can't think of anything else, I have really been thinking about what needs' to be done for him in the year 2010, I am going to talk with his teachers and find out if there is any program out there that will help us with his development, I really worry what he is going to be like as an Adult especially when he has his major fit's . I would not want to see him or anyone else get hurt by him. He has a hard time controlling it and I worry that something bad will happen There has to be Help out there somewhere that won't cost me an" arm and a leg". I just have to find it somehow.

3 more day's

Well It will be so nice to not have to hear How many more day's till Christmas? Michael will finally calm down....At work today it felt like the day would never come to a end. I wasn't reeling good so I didn't do what I wanted to do today, Which makes the day just drag. So for the next 3 day's I am going to relax and hopefully have the strength to do what need's to be done I noticed that MY Blood sugar has been doing funny things like spiking low if I over do it at work I rally need to get in the habit of having a snack or 2 at work so that I don't feel so weak.

Calvin and KD's Christmas picture 2009

Oh my gosh are these two cute or what Fawn sent pictures of the boys I am so happy to share them with you all. I really wish I lived closer to her I would spoil them rotten

Only 5 day's till Christmas

That's all I hear from Michael!!! 5 days till Christmas....It won't get here soon enough for that boy, It's snowing everywhere but Texas it seems It would be so cool to have a White Christmas then maybe I could get into the Christmas Spirit a little bit more..Well At least this year went by pretty good no major problems or Health issues Than Goodness Hoping that the year 2010 will be a very good year all around but I will just have to wait and see what happens

Kennedy Vs Calvin

Wow Are these 2 cute boys or what! Kennedy is almost 2 now ! But I wanted to show the difference in size at birth with these 2 pictures
Kennedy was over 10 lbs at birth and Calvin over 7 lbs at Birth What the heck!!!:)

A new Baby in the family!

My Niece had her 2nd son on Dec 15 of this year and he is a cutie Calvin B Clayton
I wish I could have been there I really hate living so far away from Family!!!!!!!

UGH!!!!!! The Screaming Monster has returned!

Some one take me away from this place!!!!!!Michael is in the other end of the house screaming again about Christmas and Now he is telling us that he is not going to school for half a day tomorrow. I really don't know how much more of this I can take Thank goodness for my Happy Pills!!!!!!!
Those of you out there that have never had to deal with a child with Autism I hope that you know how lucky you are and how I have to deal with all this madness everyday of my life!! There are day's that I wonder what I did in my life to have to deal with this? I really can't take much more of this screaming. This is why I stay at work more and more, The older he get's and the stronger he gets makes me really worry how I am going to be able to handle him when he has a major Meltdown, I am tired of feeling guilty for wanting a normal kid, Well venting has helped a little but it will never be completely a way to escape

Curves and a New commentment

Okay I just got done working out at Curves after being a slacker for a week and I forgot how sore my legs are. I really need to make a pledge to work out everyday in 2010 but there always seems to be a reason that I don't . I wonder what I need to do to be more motivated I really need to stop being so damn lazy and get myself into shape. My poor husband feels "unloved" these day's . The medicine's that I am taking for my blood pressure and Diabetes really make me drag. So I need to try and pay more attention to him ....Poor Baby!!:) well I just wanted to post today and write down that I need to get myself going when it comes to my health no more pussy footing around......................

Peace a Quite

Oh what a wonderful Morning Michael didn't have a melt down He is going around making his little sounds that say he's happy! Right now I am getting ready to pay bill's and hopefully have enough money to buy food for the week. You know it just never ends!!

Christmas Bonus

Well I got my yearly bonus today .....
It will help on some of the taxes we have coming up in Jan on the house It's not enough so I have to figure out where I can cut back to get them payed on time. I will be so happy when we can get out of all these debts....One day at a Time!




A View of my flowers in my back yard during the spring time...... This is why I pay taxes~ :)

More Melt downs

I am at my wit's in with Michael and his screaming fits I have a head ache from hell because of him.
Tim get's to leave for work and I am stuck here listening to it. I have a feeling that he is going to throw a fit in the morning to not go to school. Tim thinks that he needs to be put on drugs to clam him down well that would be all nice and everything but we have no medical insurance on him and I can't afford to do that. It's hard enough with my health and what insurance I have which could be a whole lot better. Well I am going to go to bed and try to relax. I am about to move into an apartment of my own just to have some peace and quite, But I don't ever se that happening soon enough.

Sunday's

As I sit here typing on my blog I find myself in a state of mind that I really don't like. When did Sunday turn into just another day?

Melt down's

Well last night Michael went into a major melt down again. screaming and swinging his plate at me becasue I wouldn't let him have another coookine after he woofed down 6 cookies before. this went on for over 30 minutes of course I just sat there and ignored the behavior but Tim adn Chris could not stay out of it . Making Michael get louder and louder. After I ate my dinner and listening to them all act like luntics I went into my bedroom crawled into bed and went to sleep around 8:15.. the Stress that I feel at home is getting to be to much and I can't seem to make them understand that it is affecting my health. I would rather be at work than at home and that isn't right. I am at a point in my life that I want to run away and I know that it would just cause a lot of problems at home .Now on the other hand the problems at work are minor even with some of my employees that would rather goof off than work. I will be having a store meeting on the 17th and some of them are not going to be very happy with me but I feel that a lot of things have gone on too long and I have to put a stop to it. well anyway I really need to get back to work . He is a picture of 2 of my craziest employees , but there never is a dull moment when they are around.....

The joy of Parenthood!

Why is it when you are young and you can't wait to get married and have Children someone doesn't smack you up side the head and inform you that it doesn't get any easier the older your kids get.....
Right now I am really trying to encourage Chris that it is time to grow up and do something with his life he is really missing out on so much, How can I stress to him that this is what he need's I am giving him un till the 1 st part of the year to present me a list of his goals and help him work out a plan to move on with his life Wish me luck he is really not a happy young man about his mother making him grow up!!

Cold

Well now the Heater is acting up and it is very cold outside...Tim has someone coming by tomorrow to look at it to see what is going on. I swear all we do is spend spend spend we can't seem to get ahead at all. I need to win a large amount of $ .........................
Anyway I will just get in to my bed and cover up to stay warm

Christmas time again!

Well I can not believe that it is that time of year again I am not ready for this When the boys were small it was so much easier but now that they are older............. How can I stres to the oldest that I really can't aford to buy him all the video games that he wants? My gosh the boy is 20 years old....get a job already if you want them that bad...UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!! And then there is Mr. Michael he could care less as long as he has presents to open he's is as happy as a clam,